Habits before goals, why?
If we set goals before development of the good habits that enables us to work in a responsible planed synergistic way, most probably, we won’t be able to achieve those goals. Consequently, frustration may abandon these people from planning for their life later on.
How do we form our habits?
Since birth we keep collecting data about the world (people – happiness – pleasure – family -relationships – feelings – meanings for actions -priorities -right and wrong – should and shouldn’t – religion and God- etc.)
Since infancy to childhood, we analyze these data to build up concepts and beliefs about everything around us. We need to build up correct concepts and beliefs about everything.
Those concepts and beliefs will ultimately build up our emotions and desires which will shape our emotions, and attitude towards things ending to behavior. Repetition of behavior leads to habit formation. These habits will be a major factor that determine one’s success.
The best gift to give to your kids or students is to help them build up a system of good habits.
In the following articles, we will summarize for you the 7 habits for highly effective people by Stephen Covey. Another version emerged out of this which focuses on teenagers which is called “The 7 habits for highly effective teens“. Then, it was noticed that building up habits must start early in childhood to be deeply rooted and effective later on. Therefore, the 7 habits for happy kids were released.
The 3 versions of the 7 habits share the same main concepts. However, the main difference is in the way and speech you deliver those concepts to different age groups, as well as the level of performance and practice that should suit people in different stages of life.
The first habit is the initiatively and proactivity
It means that kids should believe that:
- I am able to know, assess and do.
- I am responsible to take proper decisions despite of being watched or not.
- I will accept the consequences of my decisions and behavior.
To properly install this habit in our children we have to apply the following rules:
– Let your children recognize and believe in their abilities and in your trust in them.
– Train them to understand the meaning of every act they do and the consequences of such act.
– Give your children some responsibilities that they can do (related to the age group development of abilities).
– Those responsibilities must be moderately challenging in a way that they achievable and realistic. Increase the challenges gradually until you make them reach their maximum ability.
– Give them a chance to be responsible for the consequences of their acts even if they were not so nice, for example:
If your child didn’t prepare enough for his exam and he then got unfavorable grades, let him/her face it.
If he/she didn’t prepare his bag in the suitable time and forgot some of his notebooks and his teacher blamed him/her for that, let him/ her face it.
The main rule here is that you should never do for your children what they can do for themselves. help them to grow by allowing them to do all what they can do.
With All our grattitude to Dr.Azza who helped in the translation of that article